At the end of 2017 I began to reflect on all the gifts I had been given throughout the year, reminding myself of the ways in which TRANSFORMATION has found its way into my life. I had transformed my role within my career as a mental health therapist, transformed my home business, finished grad school, made a significant number of home improvements, took a trip to Kenya with my two young daughters that transformed our perspective on the world, and made a huge transformation within my marriage. Using the #onewordproject has brought me exactly what I intended for many years so I wanted to make sure that I brought pure intention to my 2018 word.

After being a full time student since January 2008 and attending all but three semesters (including summers) of university, I knew I needed a break. Grad school really took a toll on my body so I thought focusing on vitality and strength would be the ticket to a new and healthier version of myself. However, neither of those words was the perfect fit. You see, in previous years my word has found me and I knew it instantaneously. As the year came to a close I felt lost and out of place. I had always a word to accompany me into the new year, giving me a sense of renewed purpose and inspiration. As I sat by my fireplace on New Year’s Eve, sipping a cup of hot chai tea, I settled into the notion that it felt really good to relax and that in that moment I could still find peace even though there was uncertainty. I then realized that the only way to achieve strength and vitality was through nourishing my body, mind, heart and soul. My 2018 word had found me and I knew without a doubt that #nourish was going to do great things for me in the new year.

Fast forward exactly 7 weeks and here I am, stumbling, learning, growing. I did not know how uncomfortable it would be for me to focus on not doing so much and giving myself space for whatever unfolds. I have spent the last decade moving furiously through my life focused on the next achievement. I have homeschooled my two daughters, been a full time student, graduated with three degrees, grown a home business that has shipped to every US state and 8 countries outside the US, been a wife and mother, worked full time, completed countless home DIY projects, been a research assistant, started a charity organization, coached my girls’ softball teams, and been a homemaker. Through this reflection I am seeing that I never gave myself any room for quiet and rarely took time for the sole purpose of self-care.

To remedy the constant busyness that I had created in the past, I started shedding that which would not serve me on this year’s journey. I resigned from my research assistant position, closed shop on my home business, and let go of a handful of other projects. This year I am learning how to cultivate self-nourishing practices. I am eating nourishing foods, moving my body more, engaging in mindfulness, traveling, and allowing myself time for creativity. I am also nourishing my mind through diving deeper into the unknown. I know that the only way to be true to my word is to allow myself access to the darkest parts of myself because these areas are the ones that need the most nourishment. I am taking an inward journey this year to get back the core of my being and re-learn how to take care of my most precious asset, myself.

#selfcare #darknightsofthesoul #healing#oneword